It took over 6 weeks to recover from my first c-section with my son who is now 4 years old. I had some help with chores and caring for a newborn for a little while. Naturally as time progressed I felt the exhaustion from being sleep deprived and simply not caring for myself.
Some may relate to the not so fun times of having to push through those tough moments of choosing to be loving and dedicated to your precious gift that has come into your world.
I am so guilty of being that parent where my first had the big first birthday, new clothes, decorated theme room, toys each time you go to the store and just capturing all of those cute moments.
With my next c-section, my twin daughters who are now 2 years old I eliminated much of the same things that I did with my first. Specifically, “bath time”.
When my son was a newborn I utilized the marble bench in my shower by laying him on a hammock that hung down in one of those plastic baby tubs while I showered or if there was a blowout I gave him a quick bath and used our handheld removable shower head with a soft setting. He wasn’t submerged in the plastic tub, because he laid on a hammock mesh. Cleaning under any of his crevices was super easy and he just loved being naked and splashing the water freely. Newborns don’t need to have a daily bath, because they have natural oils in their skin.
By the time my son was able to sit up we did put him in the master bathtub for those fun bubblebaths. It was very consistent after dinner that all knew it was bath time. Which was followed up with reading the same book 20 times and then 3 other books before he would nod off.
I lost count how many times I read, “Love You Forever”. I secretly HATED that book. I was happy at one point that my son ripped the book by accident. Eventually, he found the second copy that was gifted to us. And I read the book with as much gusto as I could in being dramatic in my voice as I told the story. Maybe that was my fault in attempting to make it such a great read that he found it entertaining to watch and listen to me narrate. Of course, there are going to be people who may comment and say that I would change my mind if I knew the author’s inspiration of the story. Yes, I am aware, but that doesn’t change how I feel or have thoughts of how to incorporate the original inspiration to be expressed differently. More empathy for those who suffered loss of a child instead of a multitude of negative feelings to me is a much better way to go. For those who mourned and are still mourning doesn’t justify that this book is a good read. It just makes their situation more hurtful in reflecting the void.
It wasn’t until during my son’s potty training stage did I realize I can’t keep doing this anymore. So my son starting taking showers with me or my husband. We got to do our own showering while he got to play with the removable shower head. Of course we would use Honest Shampoo and Body Wash to clean his hair and skin. If there was a bath time in our bath tub…it was considered a treat and it was daddy that would monitor.
When my daughters were born I had a similar time of 6 weeks after my c-section of going through recovery. It was practically an assembly line when it came to showering. One at a time each laid on the hammock mesh in the baby plastic tub, while I cleaned their crevices and held them for a bit. Mostly it was one parent getting in the shower and the other drying the kids off. The baby plastic tub was a great gift so that I could have my shower hands-free to wash my hair and be able to shave peacefully.
As my daughters were able to sit up they each joined me in the shower by standing along with me. This has been a far better experience instead of going through the massive clean up after bathing 3 children daily with 6 towels. Having the stress of one of them slipping in the bath to drinking their own filthy bath water. Our time of spending with our children instead of doing other tasks has been reduced significantly. Our energy that we have left to give them undivided attention is better. By the time having to do the chores to get ready for nap, bed, potty training to the multitude of diaper changes – it is just an energy drain.
So now shower time is now me entering the shower to use the handheld shower head to shower, shampoo and wash them. As my son became more aware of his private parts we have gradually started showering him without his sisters. My twin daughters are now understanding to take the soap and wash their bodies or to hand me the soap bottle they want to be used on them.
My son is now getting in the shower alone at 4 years old and he tells me if the water should be warmer or not. He is fully aware that mommy is the only one that touches the shower knob. He will play with the shower head by spraying the windows or writing letters on the glass from the steam. Most of his shower time has been me clothed washing him with the handheld shower head.
Relatives have entered the shower fully clothed while using the handheld shower head at my home and it is just convenient for them since there’s multiple children that they are managing for us while we are away on a date.
Showering with your own small children without clothing I believe is appropriate. I’m thankful that we have respectful boundaries in our extended family and friendships.
When you have a c-section and you have other small children it’s just not a good idea to put yourself in positions of lifting and moving certain parts of your body that is trying to heal. So finding resourceful ways that works well with you and your family may be the best solution. I am more at peace when the kids are in the shower verses the bathtub. Of course, when they start to climb on the benches you will have to be a bit protective as needed or just have a rule to not climb when wet.
Work smarter, not harder.
